We'll start with the actual IM conversational stuff, then move on to the funny D&D stuff.
[15:24] Whir: Dried ramen? So you cooked it, then let it dry?
[15:24] Dwip: No.
[15:24] Dwip: I crunched it up into small pieces in the package, dumped it into a glass, dumped the seasoning packet in, shook vigorously, then ate it.
[15:25] Whir: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!?!
[03:00] Dwip: I'm going to drive to your house and beat you up.
[03:00] Whir: Fine. Then we can game.
[03:01] Dwip: *laughing helplessly*
[20:50] serenadingwords: No! Not the Futon of Orangeness!
[00:27] TontoMarius: And he's right. But the version we got was so anti-sucking.
[00:28] serenadingwords: you have interesting phraseology.
[00:28] TontoMarius: Yes.
[00:28] TontoMarius: Or should I say anti-no.
[00:28] serenadingwords: I'm confused.
[00:28] TontoMarius: Must remember this for when kids are teenagers. "Dad, can I use the car?" "Anti-no."
[00:28] TontoMarius: "Dad, you're WEIRD."
[00:49] serenadingwords: Hey! That was gratuitous bringing up of my checkered past!
...Aaaaaaand the D&D stuff: Best of the Online Game.
Biff the Understudy: At last, we have a program that indulges the need of all gamers to sit around and pointlessly throw dice!
joesf (Tanner): we are dramticaly rescueing our friend in our own particular idiom
Mael (Shinji): He's not my friend. He's not your friend. He's the fucking plot point.
Mael (Shinji): I hope they kill us all for sucking so bad.
joesf (Tanner): you suck
Tanner: flurry of blows [1d20+4 = 16]
Dinendal: WOw, how do you get your d20's to roll double didgit numbers?
DM: Heh.
Shinji: Hax!
Luke Combs (Narit): hax!
Chad Riley (Dinendal): quit Tai Ch'iing around and hit them!
Mael (Shinji): He's stretching for the combat. XD
joesf (Tanner): oh, hit them, my bad
DM: At least he's not Chai Teaing.
Mael (Shinji): Lamest thing said tonight, right there.
DM: Yes.
DM: I felt that I had to, however.
Dinendal: DIEDIEDIE [1d6+2 = 3]
DM: ...
Dinendal: Or shave.
Shinji: I weep for our future.
Lucas: What's going on, and who the hell are you?
Lucas: (he was out when you guys showed up to the ship)
Colbar: I am COlbar Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you
Dinendal: Aren't you a little short for a Cultist?
Shinji: Stab him in the face.
Lucas: I can't, I'm laughing too hard.
Dinendal: So who has Profession: Row Boat Captain?
Blue Dragon: PCs, party of six, your table is ready...
Diernan Snowmantle: Come, my friends. Follow me.
Diernan Snowmantle steps into the oak and disappears.
Tanner fololows
Colbar follows along hesitantly
Eclaire hops into the tree.
Dinendal follows his friends. Grinning ear to ear.
Sophie looks straight ahead, unblinking.
DM: You find yourselves in a rather different clearing than the one before. Set amongst various large trees are all manner of wood and earth buildings in the midst of a forest.
Dinendal: Great!
Sophie trips over a root.
Eclaire: Oh no!
Dinendal: That was intense. Let's do it again
Eclaire picks Sophie up and sets her on her feet.
Dinendal looks straight ahead, unblinking
joesf (Tanner): yes i bought rations
Sophie stares blankly at a roll.
joesf (Tanner): they should last me twice as long
Campaign saved.
DM: You buy small rations. They do a die less dama...oh wait.
Eclaire: <- voted for horses!!
Dinendal: Votes for horses!
Tanner: do you have the money for one
Sophie stares at the ballot box, unblinking.
Zalaznar Crinios: What can I do for you?
Eclaire: Hi Criosis! We're wondering if we can borrow some horses.
Zalaznar Crinios: Horses, you say?
Tanner: or riding squirrels if ya got em
Eclaire I stop my horse.
Eclaire: Hold on guys, something's "sharky."
Erik (DM): To your horror, the brake pedal fails!
DM: Snorg drags in an antelope for breakfast.
Erik (Snorg): Well, deer, I guess.
Snorg carves off a big chunk, roasts it, and hands it to Grom.
Dinendal dines on halfling rations.
Mael (Eclaire): Superroaster 5000
Erik (Snorg): Snorg's oven works better than mine.
Erik (Snorg): And the dragon's even better still. It has an electric, you know.
Dinendal: Electric doesn't always cook evenly
Erik (Snorg): I bet his does.
Dinendal: Bulls Strength Stabby [1d6+4 = 6]
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: Egads! I've been stabbed! Call an ambulance!
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: Why me? It's always me. They ALWAYS SHOOT ME. IT'S NOT FAIR.
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: I WANT A RAISE.
Dinendal: should I confirm the crit ?
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: Nah, I'm dead. AGAIN.
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: It ALWAYS ends up like this, I swear. There's just no justice in this world for orcs.
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: Everybody's always beating us down.
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: I mean, here we are, just trying to live our lives, doing a little raping, a little pillaging, hang out with the boys, have some fun, and the next thing you know, everybody's trying to kill us! What's up with that? WHY US?
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: All this stuff about, yknow, give peace a chance? Nobody gives orcs a chance! It's always "OH NO! ORCS! KILL THEM!" and there's a big fight and we always lose. Where's the peace? Where's the love? Orcs need love too!
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: AND SO YOU SEE THE BIAS INHERANT IN THE SYSTEM! WE'RE NOTHING BUT CANNON FODDER TO YOU PEOPLE! YOU HATE US! WE DO NOTHING TO YOU AND YOU HATE US! DOWN WITH THE GAMIST-ADVENTURIST COMPLEX!