The dangerous thing about books, and I mean the good ones here, the really good ones, is that they make you think. Worse than that, they make you FEEL. End of a really good book, you sort of put it down, and you get kind of sad, and you kinda dwell on it a bit, dwell on yourself, that sort of thing. And then you go to bed, and you wake up, and nothing's changed in your life, and it's all back to the same old thing.
Yeah. Guess who's been reading way too much today? The worst part of it is, it left me with a realization that I am very very tired of my life at the moment. I realize that I have about 30 more pages to write for school, in a couple of weeks, and then the term's done with. I'm tired of papers. I'm tired of school. I just want to relax for a fucking week with no schedule and nobody bitching at me to do shit. And I know it's not going to happen. Term'll end, and we'll go immediately into the whole "why don't you have a job" routine. And when I don't get one immediately, we'll do the whole "well, look harder. And you know if you had done this earlier during the term, you'd have one already." Yeah, we've been here. And of course saying I'd like to go to Michigan will bring up the whole money thing and the job thing and all that shit. I'm sick and fucking tired of that one, too. Tired of having all the little past mistakes build up and haunt me forever and fucking ever.
And the fucked up thing about college is, the emotional stress is the killer. Way more than the work. Shit. Used to spend more time doing pointless shit in HS. Just it's one little thing, one after the other. Sitting here remembering when I first came to college. First couple of days, met a bunch of people, had a really fun term, good times. And now I'm sitting here as a tired, stressed out, burnt out college senior who does nothing but work and play video games, sees almost nobody for weeks on end, and has very little to say even to his oldest friends.
And believe you me, I am WAY tired of that shit.
Posted by Dwip at May 26, 2003 2:51 AM