Right, so about that update thing. Since absolutely nothing of interest has occurred in life in the past few days except that I ran the tractor out of diesel, and how exciting is that, I shall simply post excerpts of the ICQ conversation Cam and I had. And you shall fall down in amazement. Or something.
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...
Me: Also the guys to pump the gas for us, which sure is great, because you don't want to see me try to do it. IT GOES EVERYWHERE.
Cam: Gas ranks on the low end of difficulty you know.
Me: My incompetence with fuel knows no bounds.
Well, ok. I was doing great until I had to rescue the cap to the diesel can. That's when the diesel went everywhere. *sigh*
At least I can change a tire. ph34r my l33t automotive skillz!
Or something.
Cam: *laugh* You know the first time I tried to change a tire I tried to take the axle off? I've never lived that down.
I have much better skills now, but I'm not naturally mechanically inclined.
Me: Um, wow. How did you manage THAT?
Cam: Well, after you unscrew all the regular lug nuts.. there's the center part that can be unscrewed with a power tool... I didn't have it and i was trying to get it off... little did I know that it was the axle I was trying to unscrew.
So yeah, that was embarrassing.
Me: We can establish from this that Dwip n' Cam's Gas and Auto Repair Shop isn't happening any time soon, here.
Cam: *grins* Nope... not unless you want to create a novelty shop like the restaurant where they curse you.
Me: *snicker*
"You LIT MY CAR ON FIRE!?"
"I didn't think that was the gas tank, but..."
Cam: *laugh* Yeah! That would be a FUN job! Maybe almost as fun as working for like Game Informer or PSM or something.
Me: *laugh*
The lawsuits might not be so fun, but I'm all about making cars explode in new and inventive ways.
Cam: Well... the dumbasses would have to sign a waiver saying that no matter what we did to their car, we had no liability as to it's drivability afterwards.
That would give me a chance to do things like put permanent nails in the driver's seat sticking up, or super glue on the drive stick... or maybe lock the brake peddle... and then when they bring it back , you can blow it up.
Me: Heh.
*guy pulls up to the pump* "Fill 'er up."
"Here, sir. Sign this."
"Huh? Ok."
*car explodes*
"YOU BLEW UP MY CAR!"
"Sorry sir. We cannot be held responsible for the loss."
"MY CAR!"
"We're sorry for your loss, sir."
Cam: Now THAT would be a fun job.
Me: Right up until everybody caught on.
Cam: Psh... you gotta bring up the bad parts...
Me: I'm just a killjoy like that.
Cam: You need to look at life more positively like I do.
Me: I tried that. Then I didn't win the lottery anyway, so I was like "What's the point?"
Cam: *snort* You're a funny man.
Me: Well, you know. The whole point is to be all happy, and you get stuff, right?
BUT I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING.
*cries*
*whines*
*writes epic livejournal rants complaining about everything in life*
Cam: Haha... I tried to blog... but I suck at it.
Nobody really gets my sense of humor or my attempts at funnies.
Me: And that is why we have invented our friend, the large stick. Say hello, the large stick.
The Large Stick: Hello.
And if they don't like what you've posted, why, Mr. the large stick will give them a talking to. And he likes doing that, don't you?
The Large Stick: Yup!
Me: And since I apparently need to come up with my own blog material, I think you're about to get quoted.
[EDIT]
Cam: It says something of my good character that the things people remember about me are Lesbian Puking Sheep and Razor Bladed Dildos.. and the Squirrel Alienz of course.
[/EDIT]
Posted by Dwip at June 28, 2005 9:11 PM