The Ravings of Demented Rabbits

OBEY THE BIG VOICE.

For you Wheel of Time readers in the audience, I encourage you to read these plot summaries, because they are funny. In fact, I encourage you all to read them, because much of what goes on is universally amusing. If nothing else, you need to browse down to the Lord of Chaos one and read the first part, because it's the funniest thing on the Internet since the WWII as an RTS thing.

Anyway. So I had a day today, which is aptly described by a conversation I had with Whir earlier:

Me: You know, today was considerably less fun than it could've been.

Whir: Oh?

Me: Yeah. So I'm doing more mowing up the hill, see. And it's all like this:

*mowing, mowing* Oh, look, blackberries. *destroys blackberries* Oh, fire pit. Avoid fire pit. *avoids fire pit* Ok, now let's do this wide open part out back that has a few thistles. *mowing, mowing, mowing, tractor suddenly vanishes in gigantic mud pit reminiscent of the mechanical version of the La Brea Tar Pits*

Me: What the hell was that?

Mud Pit: *glurp*

Whir: Heh.

Me: So we're like "lumber!" The now foot deep mud is like "Yeah, not so much." So we're like "gravel!" And the mud pit is like "Nice try, but no."

Seriously there's this random spot with like, 2 foot deep mud. And a fence. I ran over a fence. Because apparently the fence sank into the swamp.

Whir: Hahahah.

Me: So we're thinking maybe we can get a pickup and a chain.

Whir: Yeah. Another tractor would probably work better, but.

Me: Well, you know. All the people we know with them. Not that we know a lot of people with pickups.

Whir: If I was there, we'd just use my leet mud bog skills and drive it out.

Me: We surely did try. It's like driving through water, though. And I think I high centered myself.

Whir: You high-centered a TRACTOR?!

Me: This mud pit is pretty hardcore. The rear tires are, I dunno, 4 foot. A good foot and a half of that is buried in mud.

Whir: Good grief.

Me: Like I said. It's like, the mechanized La Brea Mud Pits.

-------------------

So, rather later, Dad gets home, and we show up. And he's all like "Huzzah! L33t tract0r skillz +5!" and does this thing with the bucket and gets the tractor out. And the rest of us are like "Owned."

Except how Dad would never actually talk in leet. Because he's Dad. But you get the idea.

So today's lesson is, beware dirt. It's very perilous.

Posted by Dwip at August 18, 2005 5:43 PM