The Ravings of Demented Rabbits

*Ring, ring*

So I guess I sold out and got a cell phone. Which, in much the same way as Monroe getting a stop light after all these years, makes me somewhat less awesome and cooler than the hip in crowd than I once was. This is tragic.

The shopping went pretty much like this:

Mom and I: So, Cingular people. We have no idea what anything does, so how about explaining while trying to sell us a plan.

Cingular: Sounds good. Basically, we're really awesome. Also we know what we're talking about. And if you should want to get started with us, our store's over here.

Us: Good deal. However, we must talk to Verizon first, just to be fair.

Verizon: Well, really we want a lot of money for less stuff than Cingular's willing to give you. Also, we really want a lot of money. Our sales rep also has no clue about anything. Did we mention we really want a lot of money?

Us: Dude, we're so getting Cingular now. And the family plan is way cheap. But we must convince Dad!

Insert interlude wherein we attempt to call Dad while roaming Eugene for two hours, using our ancient (Verizon) Nokia to do so. However, as Dad is in a meeting, we are generally unsuccessful. So we go and camp the parking lot.

Dad: *walking back into building*
Mom: *honking horn*
Me: DAD!
Dad: *obliviously keeps walking*
Mom: Dammit. *lays on horn*
Me: DAAAAAAAAD!
Dad: Wha? Oh. Right. Hi guys. What are you doing here?
Mom: Well, you need to come talk cell phones with people. The store's over by...Fred Meyer's, I think. We'll go wait there.
Dad: Uh...yeah, ok.

So we start cruising around looking for the Cingular store, which we were assured was right by the store and easy to find. However, Fred Meyer's turned out not to be that store.

Mom: Ruh-roh. Well, we should wait here for Dad, and when we see him on the road, in rush hour traffic, we shall leap out and flag him down.
Me: This plan is totally on crack.
Mom: We're doing it anyway, so shut up.
Me: Mom, there's like 5 people behind you. Stop camping this drive-through.
Mom: Argh. *circles block, comes back, starts going for drive-through again*
Random Guy Who Was Behind Us The Whole Time: Roo?
Me: Mom, totally go park in this parking space. It'll work way better.
Mom: If you say so.

*long, hot minutes pass, with anti-wind flow for great hotness*

Mom: This so isn't working. Let's go see if it's at Target like I think it is.
Me: Sounds good.
Cingular Store: Yeah, totally I was here the whole time. WTF?
Us: Well, we should wait here just in case.

*More time passes. The heat of a thousand suns bears down on us*

Us: This sucks. Let's go check Fred Meyer's again.
Me: Hey, is that Dad like 3 cars up in the slow lane?
Mom: It is! *drives up, honks horn*
Dad: Roo?
Me: DAD! TARGET! *we speed off*
Random People: Wow, that was some crazy action right there.

So we finally actually do end up at the store, and between Mom, me, and the Cingular rep, we convince Dad to do our bidding. He will later pronounce himself to have been "steamrolled." I notice, however, that he spent an awful lot of time gleefully playing with the phone, which is this phone. Mine's black, they both got silver. "Are you sure you don't want the eye catching metallic pink?" asks the rep. "It would clash with my red Mustang," says Mom. "*giggle*, says the rep.

Dad, meanwhile, is over gleefully playing with his phone.

My phone appears, thus far, to be smarter than I am, but I'm working on that.

Meanwhile, amusing phone moments:

Me: *pondering stone age Nokia*
Mom: What are you...oh, I thought that was your new phone.
Me: No. My phone is better than this phone. This phone looks at my phone, and cries. My phone totally dominates this phone.

Somewhat later...

Phone: *ringring, ringring*
Me: Hello?
Mom: So, what do you want for dinner?
Me: *laughing*

Last night...

Mom: I'm going to bed! No calling me!
Me: Right, right.
Me: *gives it about 3 minutes, calls Mom*
Mom: Whaaaaaaaat?
Me: Muahahahahahaha!
Mom: *giggle* Stop that!

And as pertains to this AIM convo from days of yore:

[18:28] starflier06: Which reminds me. Do you think you will bring yourself to have a cell phone?
[18:28] TontoMarius: If JUST to call you with, probably.
[18:29] starflier06: you would overcome your dislike of cell phones for me?
[18:29] TontoMarius: Yes. But only for you.
[18:29] TontoMarius: Perhaps not even for my mother. I'm not sure. She might abuse the idea.

However, I was wrong. Apparently my phone exists solely for Whir to randomly text me stuff.

Posted by Dwip at August 4, 2006 6:15 PM