The Ravings of Demented Rabbits

The Orange Box

Wherein I'm going to superfluously talk about a set of games everyone's already heard about, and probably already played. With the exception of Team Fortress 2, a multi-player game I have essentially zero interest in, I've now played the whole thing, and the short of it is that you should run, not walk (be careful crossing the street), and go get it right now. Because it's supurb. All of it, too, though some parts are better than others.

Half-Life 2 + Episodes 1-2:

The meat of the box, and together about one and a half games worth of shooter goodness. And there's a lot to like here. For one, there's a plot, and, for a shooter, it's quite something. We're not talking Baldur's Gate II here, but there's some excellent stuff in here, especially as you get to the second half of HL2, and in both Episodes.

For two, it's a good blend of gameplay styles that at times transcends genre. There are a lot of enemies to be slaughtered, certainly, but also plenty of puzzles to solve, and done in such a way that is, barring a few exceptions, non-annoying (and here you should remember that I despise Myst quite a lot, even after all these years). While mostly sci-fi, it adds in some horror and some war drama, and does it well enough.

For three, use of environments is more or less excellent (anything having to do with bridges will be awesome), though there could have been a little more variation. Too, the physics engine is well-used, and in much more integral ways than, say, Oblivion, though it does go overboard once or twice. However, the part where you drive the crane more than makes up for any shortcomings. Ever wanted to use a shipping container as a weapon? Half-Life 2 is for you.

All three of these games fall squarely into the "will lose sleep playing" category of games, even if they don't (quite) live up to the hype.

There's not much to say that's bad, but what there is is significant.

- While the gravity gun is awesome, the whole "build pathways out of debris through the water/radioactive sludge/antilion-infested sand" thing got old after about the first time I had to do it. That aside, while I think there was an annoying puzzle, I can't remember it, so.

- Speaking of antlions, enough is way way more than enough, guys. I will grant you that they were awesome in the HL2 driving level (which is possibly one of my favorite levels of all time), but the sand thing, let me state once again, was not fun. From reading various reviews and the like, it seems I am not alone in this opinion, which makes the later appearance of acid-spitting antlions in later episodes puzzling, not to mention one of the most annoying enemies ever, followed shortly thereafter by the arena matches with antlion guardians.

That having been said, that thing you get in Nova Prospekt, and you people who've played know what this is, goes a long way towards making up for that the antlions.

- Considering, for a moment, that Half-Life 2 is, at its core, a shooter, and considering that I am Gordon Freeman, Special Forces Physicist, you'd be forgiven for thinking that the game might have a few modern shooter conventions. Like maybe lean keys. Or zoom on your weapons. Hell, maybe some accuracy on the guns would be nice, too, since they seem to fall into two categories: Stunningly awesome, and "only use if the crowbar runs out of ammo." SMG, I'm talking about you here.

- Environments could've been a little more varied, although both Episodes go a ways towards fixing that (Two moreso than One), and it looks like Three will go very very far. However, there's a disturbing linearity to the games in all but a bare handful of levels that detracts a lot. While this is understandable in many of the building sequences, in the outdoors it's more troubling, though again, Episode Two makes up for this somewhat. Also, considering how awesome the game is in general, this is a smaller flaw than it could've been.

- The final fight in Episode Two was ridiculous for levels of ridiculousness scarcely seen since the bad old days of Icewind Dale II (though not nearly that bad). Yes, the gravity gun is cool. No, the new addition is not. Also, that level where you're waiting for the elevator. And the antlions in the parking garage. Jesus, the antlions.

I never want to see another antlion again, ever. However, more car levels please. And while Hunters are awesome, no more of this Hunter+Strider ridiculousness.

That having been said, Valve, when's Episode Three coming out? DO WANT.

Final judgement, 9/10 aliens.

Portal:

I find myself a little bit perplexed by the uproar caused by this game. Everywhere you go on the internets, people are praising it to the skies. I've seen pictures of Portal on lines directly below pictures of Jesus Christ. Everywhere you go people are talking about how the cake is a lie, or how they want a weighted companion cube, or saying how you'll never want to play another game again.

And I seriously just don't get it. Sure, Portal was moderately entertaining, for the, oh, two hours I spent playing it (yes, it's very, very short), of which the weighted companion cube was around for maybe five minutes and did nothing to endear itself to me. Yes, GlaDOS was amusing, but not THAT amusing. Honestly, I had the most fun with the whole cake thing. And the portals. I will admit that the portals are cool, and for a puzzle game, which Portal most emphatically is, it's a really good one (if not a very hard one), and I only had one real moment of "I have no idea how to solve this," which is pretty good.

On the downside, I'm not sure what the deal was, but boy was that game crash-happy. Autosaves were to be feared.

So, yknow. It's a good bite-sized addition to what's already a jam-packed set of games, but don't (don't don't don't) believe the hype. 6/10 aliens.

Steam:

In which I vent a lot at content delivery services, such as Steam, which are about the only downside of the whole Half-Life 2 experience for me. Mine has not been as bad as some, but ok. I bought a single-player game. On DVDs. Now, the fact that I don't need to have my DVD in the drive is minorly nice, but why does my single-player game need to phone home when I play it? Why does it feel the need to run all the time, even at startup, from my system tray (granted this is easy to disable), and why does it feel the need to spam me on game exit? I'm fairly sure it's caused me at least one crash.

That aside, however, The Orange Box is clearly something that, if you call yourself a gamer, or even if you don't, you should feel the burning need to own. 9.5/10 aliens.

Posted by Dwip at February 24, 2008 6:19 PM