Reveling in my newfound gain in internet connectivity, which I say newfound because Comcast died on me for like three days, I shall give unto you, my faithful readers, a blog post. I could talk about school, say, but I just had two classes on searching, pretty much in a row, and it's not THAT interesting a topic. I did some work for my assistantship today, but that was, if you count the half hour I spent BSing with Sarah on the phone, about 4 hours of putting things in envelopes.

So instead I'm going to talk about Star Wars, because I just sat down and watched all six movies consecutively (not in the same day, mind you), and have some things to say on the subject.

Let us begin with Episode I. Considering how much I have been villifying it for years now, I expected to have to force myself to sit through it. Fortunately, I was surprised. The Gungans, Jar-Jar included, weren't actually all that annoying this time around. OTOH, Jake Lloyd as Anakin was rampantly annoying, both as a character, and because the sequence where he sits down in the fighter at random, starts it up, learns how to fly it in 3 seconds and then saves the day for everyone is just that completely retarded. There are single-cell organisms smarter than that chain of events. On the other hand, you have Darth Maul, who's a total badass, as Darth Fuzzy would no doubt agree. Also Qui-Gon Jinn, who is perhaps my favorite Jedi if only because he lives in a slightly more realistic world.

Phantom Menace is clearly the weakest of all six movies, however. By far and away. Not even in contest.

As far as Episode II goes, again, I liked it a whole lot better this time around, which probably has a lot to do with watching it back to back with Episode I, and so it becomes clearer where George was trying to go. I also buy into Hayden Christensen as Annakin fairly well, and more and more as the movie progresses and he seems to get better at it. The whole "sand is rough" is still really painful, but I think I buy into it as a perhaps too realistic attempt by a teenagish male at romantic dialogue, and we all know how well THAT works out.

Also, clone troopers for the win. And Dooku, despite Pinball Yoda, which was VASTLY less annoying this time around.

The fact that Obi-Wan Kenobi, wise Jedi Knight, needs the 5 year-old child advisor to tell him why the planet's missing is pretty amusing in the context of the Evil Overlord List, but seriously people, it's like the first thing that jumps to everyone's mind.

Jar-Jar Binks dooming the Republic makes me laugh every time I watch it.

Still the second weakest of the movies (some people put Jedi here but not me), but not as bad as I remembered.

Revenge of the Sith, on the other hand. Holy crap that movie rocked on. Palpatine revealed for the evil arch-badass he is. Order 66. Any of several friggin' sweet lightsaber duels. Like the entire second half of the movie where evil triumphs. You name it, it's awesome, except:

1. The droids that attack Obi-Wan and Annakin's fighters at the beginning are really freaking stupid. Just blow them up, people. It's a lot cheaper.

2. While the climactic duel between Obi-Wan/Annakin is like the most awesome duel this side of Rob Roy, the whole being on a volcano thing is fighting for stupidity levels with the Annakin saves the day at random thing from Phantom Menace. The droid factory from Attack of the Clones is right up there too, but it's pretty hard to beat climbing into a cockpit, being told to STAY THERE by your supposedly wise mentor, randomly punching buttons, and somehow owning the entire Trade Federation. Yes, I hated that part.

Watching said Trade Federation get served by Darth Vader in III was really really nice, though. I enjoyed that a lot.

Padme as a character freaks me right the hell out. Just seriously freaks me out. It's not so much the "OMG I'm in love with a kid I knew when he was 5!" thing, though that's slightly out of the norm, and it's not so much the "I'm still in love with my, if he weren't a Jedi would be a wife beater, husband!" thing, but the combo of those two just does something. I dunno. She's creepy.

Still, I think Revenge of the Sith is either top or second in coolness level out of all six movies, and running away the best movie out of the prequels.

Moving straight along to the final three movies, which I watched in the remastered and not the original version because I've seen the remastered once and the original about 800 times...

...wow does A New Hope look like shit when you watch it straight after Revenge of the Sith. In a few instances, this is good - Dagobah in Empire Stikes Back looks probably better than it would in CGI. OTOH, the lightsaber effects in particular look like crap. The switch from the awesome, highly stylized past of 20 years ago to The Future of 1977 is, well, a little jarring, though it does kind of fit the Empire a little better.

Speaking of the Empire, has anybody noticed that the symbol of the Galactic Empire looks like Bethesda Softworks' latest logo? Just saying.

Luke Skywalker isn't exactly Shinji (and thank God for that), but he sure does whine a whole lot. Except that brief flash at the end of A New Hope when he pulls it together long enough to take down the Death Star. And Return of the Jedi, where he goes from being "Aaaa! I'm a total loser all of Dagobah!" to "I'm just THAT badass. Seriously."

Too, the Jedi, such as they are, sure do treat Luke like crap. Which, since they're all pretty much arrogant assholes whose lack of focus on reality caused the downfall of the Republic in the first place isn't all that surprising, but sure does become more apparant when you try to place various things into context, like "Oh look, Obi-Wan Kenobi is now lying to Luke about the droids, because you KNOW he's not senile enough to forget R2D2."

Yknow, the digital remaster stuff isn't really all that bad, though I bet if it'd been done post-Sith it'd have been better, but the Greedo shoots first thing is still dumb. Really really dumb. I know everyone else said that too, but it needs repeating often.

And I think I've figured out why I think Return of the Jedi is better than Empire Strikes Back. It has a lot to do with, on the one hand, my liking marketable pack hunters more than many (and think on the bright side - they weren't Gungans), and on the other hand, everyone in the movie running around acting like the badasses they are. In Empire, OTOH, sure, everyone runs around being awesome on Hoth a lot, and watching Han and Leia get served on the cloud city is cool, but Luke on Dagobah. Wow. I've seen it a million times and I STILL want to reach through the screen and throttle him for such a petulant little child.

Anyway. The whole two of you who cared enough to read all that, feel free to comment.

...is how many emails are sitting in my email box right now. To all my various comment spammers, I'd like to extend a big Fuck You to y'all.

To the rest of you, I'm now reconnected at home. Feels good, it does.

As you all may have deduced from my (infrequent) tagboard postings, I AM actually alive here in CT, though astonishingly busy and unable to connect to the internet except through the campus labs. I think I may finally have time to go work on that, so I imagine I shall, since not being on the internet is a horrific fate. I've actually called AT&T about the possibility of getting a phone line and DSL put into my apartment, but apparently in the 21st century, this new age of information, AT&T cannot bring themselves to offer any sort of high speed access in my chunk of a very densely populated urban area. Apparently they're still all about dialup, which while it may have been ok to use back in, you know, the Dark Ages, it is woefully inadequate in these new and enlightened times. So I guess we're going to see what Earthlink and Comcast can do for me.

School, meanwhile, is utterly ludicrous. I'm finally registered for classes, all three of them, now fully two weeks into the term. You wouldn't believe the bureaucracy around here, but I'll attempt to enlighten you anyway. Cast your minds back, dear readers, to almost three weeks ago. Newly arrived on campus, I travel to the registrar to attempt to register, since the computer system wouldn't let me previously, telling me I had to walk into the registrar to get it done. Since walking in took a couple thousand miles and about a week, well.

Registrar: Can we help you?
Me: Why yes, I'd like to register for classes. The online system told me to come here.
Registrar: Oh, ok. Come on in and use our computer.
Me: Ok, let's see. Need to take 501, 503, 504, and maybe 506.
Computer: Sorry, I can give you 503, but 501 and 506 are closed.
Me: Suck. But what about 504? Why won't you let me register for that?
Computer: Because 501 is a pre/coreq for it. So's 503, actually.
Me: That does me very little good. Hey registrar, what do I do about this?
Registrar: Go talk to the department. Here's where they are.
Guy On the Other Computer: Actually, I need it too. Same deal.

And there was much walking, much as our forefathers of old might have walked.

ILS Department: Can we help you?
Me: Why, yes. I'm trying to get into ILS 501 or 504 or both.
ILS Department: Well, uh, go talk to these professors, since they'll need to give you permission.
Me: Right. I shall now write multiple emails. Oh wait, it's Dr Kim, who totally helped me out at orientation the other night. And he teaches one of the sections! Help me, Obi-wan Dr. Kim, you're my only hope.
Dr. Kim: Well, we're trying to get another section open for 501. Meanwhile, why don't you go talk to Dr Sche, the chair.
Me: Awesome.
Dr. Sche: Well, I don't see why you can't get into 504 if you want. Also, why don't you apply for an assistantship?
Me: You guys are way too cool.

So time passes, I am registered for 504, but then disaster strikes!

Computer: Sorry, can't register you for 501. It would put you at 9 credits, and you can only have 8.99.
Me: What the...?
Drs Kim/Sche: That's ludicrous. We all want you to have this class. Go forth to the registrar, and force them to cave to your demands.
Me: Forth, to conquer for libraries everywhere!
Registrar: Oh, you can't register because you aren't a matriculated grad student.
Me: I could've sworn I was.
Registrar: But you aren't. Go talk to the graduate school. They're across campus. Right by the library, actually, where you came from.
Me: Fantastic.

And there was much treking across campus. In a slightly more exotic locale, epics would be told. Instead, you get this post.

Graduate School: Well, the dean totally has to sign off on letting you in. But since everyone in the universe is more or less on your side, it's probably ok. We'll call you later today.

Tomorrow comes, I try back.

Graduate School: Yeah, meetings, you know? But you're in. Congrats.
Me: Score!

Whereupon I immediately register for the new section. By this time, I've already had my first ILS 503 class (which was awesome), and it's Friday.

Come Monday night...

ILS Department: Yeah, so that new 501 section got canceled because of low attendance. Try registering for one of the other ones. We'll let you in.
Me: Ok, no big deal. Do it after class.
Computer: Sorry, no deal. You have a hold by the health services department for some reason.
Me: WTF? Ok, talk to 'em tomorrow.

Today...

Just as I get to campus...

Staples Delivery Guy: Yeah, hi, got your bookcase, be there in half an hour.
Me: Uh...actually, drop it at the store, I'll get it there. I can't do it now.
SDG: Er, ok.

Health Services: Yeah, we need proof of your MMR immunization.
Me: That so happened in like 1982. But I'll try to dig up a copy, from OREGON, for you.

So I actually have to wait a while (I could've been there for the Staples guy...sigh), because nothing in Oregon is even open yet because it's 8am there.

Corvallis Clinic: Well, we're just not going to be here. So deal.
Me: Uh...right. Hey Mom, do you have a copy?
Mom: Sure do. Want me to fax it to Staples?
Me: I'm in their parking lot for my bookcase. Sounds good.
Bookcase: I am too heavy to be moved by mere mortals.
Me: Crap. Uh, Staples guys, this is gonna sound lame, but can you deliver it again?
Staples Guys: Er, yeah, ok.
Fax: *whinewhircrank*
Me: Ok. Armed with my new paper, I shall now go back to campus!
Health Services: Thanks. That was fast.
Me: I'm just not going to say anything. I haven't killed anyone today, and don't want to start.

But I'm registered now, so we're all good, I think. 3 classes, I'll hear about what I'll be doing as a graduate assistant any time now, and I'm almost entirely moved in with the exception of a real bed and the internet. Life is good.

Next time hopefully I can do this from home.

Well, I've got a place, and it looks like I'll be moving in tonight. So until I get hooked up for the 'net there, y'all won't be seeing me on for a while. Maybe at school. We'll see. Most of you know my phone number anyway, so.

Connecticut Driving Rules:

1. If you're not going at least 10 above the posted speed, you're not even in the game. It's ok to slow it down to 5 above, but only when it's night and dumping rain. If you go the speed limit, you will get passed.

2. Passing on the right isn't just ok, it's a moral obligation.

3. If the lane you need isn't marked on the road, just invent one. Right turn lanes, left turn lanes, whatever you need. Don't worry about people on the other side of the road, intersection, or whatever - they'll move.

4. Need somewhere to park? It's always ok to park on the side of the street, even if you're blocking half of the actual lane. Also, feel free to just leap out of your car and leave the doors open - everyone else will move. If all else fails, just use the sidewalk, that's what it's there for.

5. When people open their doors or walk in the middle of the road, just swerve, don't slow down. Everyone else will move.

6. Need to pull out onto the street? Good luck. Fortunately, most people will leave you room, but if they don't, just go. They'll make room. And if you really need to make a left or be in the lefthand lane, just go. They'll make room for that, too.

7. If you've been stopped at a stoplight, it turns green, and you aren't going in about 1 second, prepare for the horn.

8. In fact, getting a black belt in Horn Fu is a must.

9. Unless you get in an accident or get in their way, the cops don't care. Really, they don't. So don't worry about it.

10. Be proud, people of Connecticut! According to surveys, you've been ranked 42nd in the nation for driving test scores! Clearly some work must be done to beat out Rhode Island, but you're well on the path! Keep up the good work!

[ED Note: Note who's #1 on that survey. Nyah.]