Duty is heavier than a mountain; death is lighter than a feather.
---Imperial Rescript to Soldiers and Sailors

[23:50] TontoMarius: I almost want to sign up for the free 3 month Amazon Prime, but then I don't.

[23:51] serenadingwords: What does Prime do again?
[23:51] serenadingwords: Besides beat down Amazon Megatron a lot.

Now is the time
To prove
What we know to be true:
That we shall conquer all.
---The Rememberance (Clan Ghost Bear), Passage 155, Verse 2, Lines 45-48

Tall ships and tall kings
three times three
what brought they from the foundered land
over the flowing sea?
Seven stars and seven stones
and one white tree.

---J.R.R. Tolkein

"You and I have witnessed many things, but nothing as bodacious as what just happened."

--- Bill S. Preston, Esq.

We are living very fast.

---William Manchester, Goodbye, Darkness

[14:12] Whir: When the going gets hot, the hot get ice cream-cicles.

[21:53] TontoMarius: Well, I cooked dinner. That was a mistake.
[21:53] serenadingwords: This is why around here, we keep mothers.

You must gather your party before venturing forth.
---Baldur's Gate

We'll start with the actual IM conversational stuff, then move on to the funny D&D stuff.

[15:24] Whir: Dried ramen? So you cooked it, then let it dry?
[15:24] Dwip: No.
[15:24] Dwip: I crunched it up into small pieces in the package, dumped it into a glass, dumped the seasoning packet in, shook vigorously, then ate it.
[15:25] Whir: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!?!

[03:00] Dwip: I'm going to drive to your house and beat you up.
[03:00] Whir: Fine. Then we can game.
[03:01] Dwip: *laughing helplessly*

[20:50] serenadingwords: No! Not the Futon of Orangeness!

[00:27] TontoMarius: And he's right. But the version we got was so anti-sucking.
[00:28] serenadingwords: you have interesting phraseology.
[00:28] TontoMarius: Yes.
[00:28] TontoMarius: Or should I say anti-no.
[00:28] serenadingwords: I'm confused.
[00:28] TontoMarius: Must remember this for when kids are teenagers. "Dad, can I use the car?" "Anti-no."
[00:28] TontoMarius: "Dad, you're WEIRD."

[00:49] serenadingwords: Hey! That was gratuitous bringing up of my checkered past!

...Aaaaaaand the D&D stuff: Best of the Online Game.

Biff the Understudy: At last, we have a program that indulges the need of all gamers to sit around and pointlessly throw dice!

joesf (Tanner): we are dramticaly rescueing our friend in our own particular idiom
Mael (Shinji): He's not my friend. He's not your friend. He's the fucking plot point.

Mael (Shinji): I hope they kill us all for sucking so bad.
joesf (Tanner): you suck

Tanner: flurry of blows [1d20+4 = 16]
Dinendal: WOw, how do you get your d20's to roll double didgit numbers?
DM: Heh.
Shinji: Hax!
Luke Combs (Narit): hax!

Chad Riley (Dinendal): quit Tai Ch'iing around and hit them!
Mael (Shinji): He's stretching for the combat. XD
joesf (Tanner): oh, hit them, my bad
DM: At least he's not Chai Teaing.
Mael (Shinji): Lamest thing said tonight, right there.
DM: Yes.
DM: I felt that I had to, however.

Dinendal: DIEDIEDIE [1d6+2 = 3]
DM: ...
Dinendal: Or shave.
Shinji: I weep for our future.

Lucas: What's going on, and who the hell are you?
Lucas: (he was out when you guys showed up to the ship)
Colbar: I am COlbar Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you
Dinendal: Aren't you a little short for a Cultist?
Shinji: Stab him in the face.
Lucas: I can't, I'm laughing too hard.

Dinendal: So who has Profession: Row Boat Captain?

Blue Dragon: PCs, party of six, your table is ready...

Diernan Snowmantle: Come, my friends. Follow me.
Diernan Snowmantle steps into the oak and disappears.
Tanner fololows
Colbar follows along hesitantly
Eclaire hops into the tree.
Dinendal follows his friends. Grinning ear to ear.
Sophie looks straight ahead, unblinking.

DM: You find yourselves in a rather different clearing than the one before. Set amongst various large trees are all manner of wood and earth buildings in the midst of a forest.
Dinendal: Great!
Sophie trips over a root.
Eclaire: Oh no!
Dinendal: That was intense. Let's do it again
Eclaire picks Sophie up and sets her on her feet.
Dinendal looks straight ahead, unblinking

joesf (Tanner): yes i bought rations
Sophie stares blankly at a roll.
joesf (Tanner): they should last me twice as long
Campaign saved.
DM: You buy small rations. They do a die less dama...oh wait.

Eclaire: <- voted for horses!!
Dinendal: Votes for horses!
Tanner: do you have the money for one
Sophie stares at the ballot box, unblinking.

Zalaznar Crinios: What can I do for you?
Eclaire: Hi Criosis! We're wondering if we can borrow some horses.
Zalaznar Crinios: Horses, you say?
Tanner: or riding squirrels if ya got em

Eclaire I stop my horse.
Eclaire: Hold on guys, something's "sharky."
Erik (DM): To your horror, the brake pedal fails!

DM: Snorg drags in an antelope for breakfast.
Erik (Snorg): Well, deer, I guess.
Snorg carves off a big chunk, roasts it, and hands it to Grom.
Dinendal dines on halfling rations.
Mael (Eclaire): Superroaster 5000
Erik (Snorg): Snorg's oven works better than mine.
Erik (Snorg): And the dragon's even better still. It has an electric, you know.
Dinendal: Electric doesn't always cook evenly
Erik (Snorg): I bet his does.

Dinendal: Bulls Strength Stabby [1d6+4 = 6]
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: Egads! I've been stabbed! Call an ambulance!
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: Why me? It's always me. They ALWAYS SHOOT ME. IT'S NOT FAIR.
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: I WANT A RAISE.
Dinendal: should I confirm the crit ?
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: Nah, I'm dead. AGAIN.
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: It ALWAYS ends up like this, I swear. There's just no justice in this world for orcs.
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: Everybody's always beating us down.
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: I mean, here we are, just trying to live our lives, doing a little raping, a little pillaging, hang out with the boys, have some fun, and the next thing you know, everybody's trying to kill us! What's up with that? WHY US?
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: All this stuff about, yknow, give peace a chance? Nobody gives orcs a chance! It's always "OH NO! ORCS! KILL THEM!" and there's a big fight and we always lose. Where's the peace? Where's the love? Orcs need love too!
Orc, 1st-Level Warrior: AND SO YOU SEE THE BIAS INHERANT IN THE SYSTEM! WE'RE NOTHING BUT CANNON FODDER TO YOU PEOPLE! YOU HATE US! WE DO NOTHING TO YOU AND YOU HATE US! DOWN WITH THE GAMIST-ADVENTURIST COMPLEX!

You know what I'd like to be? I mean if I had my goddam choice, I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all."
---Ghost In the Shell: Stand Alone Complex

She's living next week now
you know she's gonna pay it back somehow
she hasn't been to bed in a week
she'll be dead soon, then she'll sleep
---U2, Last Night On Earth

Enjoy the bath in a normal way. Normally.
---Sousuke

[22:21] Maelfactor: Omatase.
[22:21] serenadingwords: meaning?
[22:21] Maelfactor: Sa...
[22:21] TontoMarius: "I speak bizzare Japanese words so that nobody can understand me."
[22:22] TontoMarius: It's an imprecise translation, mind you.

"Oh...will save vs almond roca! ...failed..."
---Brian

[21:10] TontoMarius: Yes folks, the next new rap sensation, Serahnadin' Werdz.
[21:10] TontoMarius: Or something.
[21:10] serenadingwords: I kind of laughed, but mostly I was horrified.

"Just as they had done in the 1980s and would do again in the 2000s, the Republicans were trying to abolish arithmatic."
---Bill Clinton

[19:44] PxcTNK: I mean, so many people want Oblivion here, it actually overtook "porn" as the most searched item on our network for a while. And that's amazing.

I got nothing to say...nothing but the one thing, as the song goes.

From the opening pages of Norman Cantor's The Civilization of the Middle Ages, I quote St. Bernard of Clairvaux:

"There are some who wish to learn for no other reason than that they may be looked upon as learned, which is a ridiculous vanity, ... Others desire to learn that they may morally instruct others; that is love. And lastly, there are some who wish to learn that they may be themselves edified; and that is prudence."

Those expecting a real entry, well, I'll probably talk about Oblivion or something in a time. That time is not now.

"Just like old times! Well, except for the torture and all."
---Imoen

A long December, and there's reason to believe
maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leavin'
now the days go by so fast

And it's one more day up in the canyon
and it's one more night in Hollywood
it's been so long since I've seen the ocean..I guess I should.

Because in that greater sense, it HAS been a long December. Happy New Year, y'all, and here's to 2006 being everything I'm hoping it will be.

6 player Civ games are never going to be in my future again, I think.

OTOH, Regina was funny tonight, and didn't try to deny it this time, so:

[21:15] TontoMarius: Well, do I look like a plucky Japanese schoolgirl to you?
[21:15] starflier06: *falls over laughing*
[21:15] starflier06: cosplay!
[21:16] starflier06: You'd look so cute with the pigtails!

[21:17] starflier06: why is it that these days, i find myself making bizarre statements for your amusement?
[21:17] starflier06: Not that you mind, I'm sure, but.

[21:35] starflier06: I should get food and stuff.
[21:35] TontoMarius: That was a really me comment.
[21:36] starflier06: heh.
[21:36] TontoMarius: "Like, oh yeah. Food."
[21:36] starflier06: heh
[21:37] starflier06: i had toast for dinner
[21:37] starflier06: and a pear later
[21:37] starflier06: that only goes so far
[21:37] TontoMarius: Wow did that sound off for a moment.
[21:37] starflier06: hahahahahahah
[21:37] TontoMarius: I was all like "Boy, that's pretty Silence of the Lambs there."

Whir: Get back here and entertain me.

Me: No.

Whir: Wrong answer.

Me: I thought it was a perfectly good answer.

Whir: I'm not arguing the validity of said answer, just that it's the wrong one.

Because I woke up at noon today, having had 10 hours of sleep, and right now I'm totally exhausted. Figure that out.

So I got my Praxis II English scores Saturday. 185/200 and 160/200, which is reasonable. And Western's like "Oh, bring them up when you get them!" and I'm like "Ok." So I do. And they're like "Oh, did you get your letter yet?" "No, but I'll check when I get back." And then I get back, and it's all like "We're sorry, but your application has been rejected. Have a nice day." So, yeah, that kinda sucks. What's funny here is that my parents seemingly care more about it than I do. Maybe I'm just so tired I won't care until tomorrow. Or maybe I'm just THAT Zen. Who knows.

Time to check in to some MLS programs, though.

On a totally other note, just to be all taunty to Suzanne, a reprint of the conversation we're having:

*totally out of context, for great justice*

Her: Great thing about manipulating men, they're so easily distracted.

You did not just hear me say that.

Me: I totally did, however.

Her: I deny everything.

Me: I have incriminating photographs.

Her: Look! A bunny!

Me: *looks at self* Yes?

Her: grr. Look! A shiney... thing... on the ground!

*grabs evidence*

Me: *police helicopters appear from nowhere*

Her: My wiley female manipulation skills are obviously dulled by the fever

Me: Perhaps. Or the internet. Or perhaps I am wise to your evil female ways.

Her: Perhaps I should not have explicitly stated that I had evil female ways. I might have kept it secret longer...

Me: That generally helps. I believe they're supposed to be evil SUBTLE female ways.

Her: It's the fever. I'm telling you.

Me: So you say.

Her: Look, I may not be subtle, but I am still female, and evil, and I am radiating an infectious disease so watch yerself.

Me: The internet will protect me!

Her: Not forever, it won't

Me: Well, at least until 2:30 tomorrow.

Her: is that when you get off your 'shift' ?

Me: Yah

Her: I don't know why I put shift in quotes

..or half-quotes. whatever.

Me: You were being so wily and female, you couldn't even tell that's what you were doing?

Her: Do I ever get to hear the end of this, or what?

Me: Well, when you put it like THAT...no.

"Falling Water of Warmth, +5 Con."
---Whir

Since we all love Marechal quotes, and since Regina asked me to put this together, I present to you the best Marechal quotes from my ICQ logs, 2001-2003.

Let the tomahawking commence!

We're going to abuse some context fairly hard here, but bear with us.

*talking about American Pie*
[17:35] starflier06: That title is a desecration of a good song, btw.
[17:36] TontoMarius: Yes, but since I desecrate a whole lot of songs daily, I can't really complain.

Now, just to prove a point to Regina, here, let us snag the contents of various random ICQs to Whir about the status of my latest game of Civ.

Though I can claim with some confidence that this latest round is Whir's fault:

*Talking about me beating up some Vikings*
Whir: Despite all the Vikings' rage, they are still just going to die.
(Smashing Pumpkins, Bullet With Butterfly Wings)

*Talking about me about to run over the Maya*
Whir: Doublecross the vacant and Maya. They're not sure just what you have in store.
(Smashing Pumpkins, 1979)

*Talking about blowing up the Viking fleet*
Me: We all fight in a purple frigate, a purple frigate, a purple frigate.
(The Beatles, Yellow Submarine)

*Utterly random*
Whir: Soul power.
Me: Sea power.
(Smashing Pumpkins, Soul Power [James Brown])

*Also utterly random*
Whir: You say I'm lucky, we all know it's in the artillery.
(Smashing Pumpkins, Dross)

*Taking down the city of Vadso*
Whir: Twilight fades through blistered... Vadso-lon?
Me: Wait'll I get nukes. Then you'll see some blistered Babylon.
(Smashing Pumpkins, To Shiela)

*Random Voltron Gets Served Flash Video Reference #1:*
Me: And thus Ragnar was like "We just got totally served, team!"

*Utterly random*
Whir: Thru the Eyes of World Domination?
Whir: The war has come to hold us young?
(Smashing Pumpkins, Thru the Eyes of Ruby)

*Yeah, we're finally invading the Maya now*
Me: This whole "Dude, where's my horse?" thing is totally going to kick the Mayans' ass.
(Dude, Where's My Car?)

*Fighting us some Babylonians*
Me: Come a little bit closer, you're my kind of stack, so big and so strong, come a little bit closer, I want to blow you up, and the night is so young, oh.

La la lala, la la lala...

Super sounds of the 60s and 70s, as it were.
(Jay and the Americans, Come A Little Bit Closer)

*Utterly random*
Me: As the words to the old childrens' song go...

This land is my land, this land ain't your land
I've got a shotgun, you ain't got one
I'll blow your head off, you can't stop me
This land was made for me not you
Me: We used to sing that back in, you know, 7th grade.
(Woodie Guthrie, This Land Is Your Land)

Me: Meanwhile, grinding through the last of the Maya.
Whir: The last of the Mayahicans.
(The Last of the Mohicans)

*Dropping lots of bombs on Babylon*
Me: We will we will bomb you.
Whir: I don't live, I impale. I don't give, I will hail (bombs)?
Me: The Aeroplane Flies High (Turns Left, Bombs Right)
(Queen, We Will Rock You)
(Smashing Pumpkins, Siva)
(Smashing Pumpkins, The Aeroplane Flies High (Turns Left, Looks Right))

Whir: I've been afraid of bombing 'cause I built my cities around you?
Me: Took my bomb and I took it down
climbed in my airplane and I looked around
and I saw Babylonians in the snow covered hills
'till bombers brought 'em down
(Smashing Pumpkins, Landslide [Fleetwood Mac])

Whir: Despite all Babylon's rage, they'll still be bombed back to stone age?
(Smashing Pumpkins, Bullet With Butterfly Wings)

Whir: You know I'm, you know I'm not Babylon.
(Smashing Pumpkins, The Everlasting Gaze)

Whir: Who wouldn't bomb the one you love? Who wouldn't stand beside your guns?
(Smashing Pumpkins, Stand Inside Your Love)

*On random Viking cities*
Me: Aarhus, in the middle of the war, Aarhus.
(Madness, Our House)

*Totally random*
Me: Now playing in homes across America, the new crossover movie: SuperBabylon vs. Three Mech Inf and a Worker.
(Assorted Superman Meets X comics. Also Three Men And A Baby)

*Also utterly random*
Me: You know, Spain, I'd be a bit more worried if Conquistadors could actually hurt me.
Whir: Oh, but they can. Don't turn your back on a conquistador. They might be Zorro in disguise.
Me: I wonder if Zorro can dodge nuclear weapons.
Whir: Yes. Actually, in the instant before they land, he can disable the warhead with his rapier.
Me: But by how much, we ask. What if I set them to air burst?
Whir: He'll use his whip.
Me: Which grows to like, a mile?
Whir: It's Zorro.
Me: And what if I attack him with the Quik Bunny?
Whir: Close call.

*Fighting us some guys in Scandanavia*
Me: Aaaaaaaaa!
Aaaaaaaaa!
We come to the land of the ice and snow, etc, etc.
(Led Zeppelin, Immigrant Song)

*Still fighting Babylon*
Me: Babylon says
have you seen my infantry around?
I feel naked without it
He knows they all want him to go
but that's ok man, they can't kill him anyway

Babylon says
I'm going away to Scandanavia
when I get my army saved
gonna start tomorrow

I'm gonna invade tomorrow
I'm gonna invade tomorrow
(Jane's Addiction, Jane Says)

*Bombing, Babylon, you know the drill)
Me: Hey Abe, where you going with that bomb in your plane?
Hey Abe, I said where you going with that bomb in your plane?
I'm going down to bomb Babylon
You know I caught him warring 'round on every civ in town
(Hendrix, Hey Joe)

Me: And I'd love you to notice, I'm devoted
to destroy Babylonians...
(Smashing Pumpkins, Marquis In Spades)

Me: The bombs of love disastrous?
(Smashing Pumpkins, The Guns of Love Disastrous)

Me: I need two RoPs. Now who's with me?

Hittites/Mongols: We're with you Billy the Kid!
(Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure)

Spain: *menace*

Me: Look! It's the Goodyear Blimp!

Spain: Huh?

Me: *jacks Spain*

Hittites: I can't believe they fell for that!
(Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure)

Me: Dun dun, the tanks are back in town...
(Bad Company, The Boys Are Back In Town)

Me: You gotta understand
you gotta understand
it's just a fact that you must attack
you gotta bomb 'em while you can
(Smashing Pumpkins, Cash Car Star)

Me: Hammurabbi says
I'm done with Abe Lincoln
he treat me like a rag doll
he hides his infantry
says I don't owe him nothing
but if he come back again
tell him to wait here for my infantry
or try again tomorrow

I'm gonna win tomorrow
I'm gonna win tomorrow

Hammurabbi says
have you seen my city around?
I feel naked without it
he knows they all want him to go
but that's ok man he don't like them anyway
Hammurabbi says
I'm going to invade America
when I get my units saved
gonna start tomorrow

I'm gonna win tomorrow
I'm gonna win tomorrow
(Jane's Addiction, Jane Says)

Me: Babylon is falling down
falling down, falling down
Babylon is falling down
my fair army
(London Bridge Is Falling Down)

Regina never ever ever gets to say I never quote her ever again. Ever.

Got that?

Good.

[17:03] starflier06: heya.
[17:04] TontoMarius: 'lo 'lo.
[17:04] starflier06: Anyway, you.
[17:04] TontoMarius: Me.
[17:04] starflier06: I figured out your scheme and I'm not having any part of it.
[17:04] TontoMarius: It.
[17:04] TontoMarius: Them.
[17:04] TontoMarius: Roo?
[17:04] starflier06: You're going to indoctrinate me, bit by bit, with all your movies, music, and cultural references.
[17:04] starflier06: Until I am your minion.
[17:04] starflier06: Then I will become your pawn in the you v. marechal games of power. I see where this is heading!
[17:05] TontoMarius: Agh! She's discovered secret plan 36J!
[17:05] TontoMarius: Damage control! Damage control!
[17:05] starflier06: Do you want to know how I discovered it? It's pretty entertaining.
[17:05] TontoMarius: I'll bite.
[17:05] starflier06: 11 am, Saturday morning, Florida.
[17:05] TontoMarius: *gnaw, gnaw*
[17:05] starflier06: I'm bored, checking TV guide, and see, somewhere in the list of programs, Bill and Ted.
[17:05] TontoMarius: Awfully early in the morning to be that profound.
[17:06] TontoMarius: Bill and Ted!
[17:06] starflier06: I laugh to myself, turn it on, and proceed to watch it with my grandmother.
[17:06] starflier06: SHE was amused.
[17:06] TontoMarius: Yay!
[17:06] starflier06: This is when I realized I was merely your pawn.
[17:06] starflier06: And you were using me to spread your indoctrination.
[17:06] TontoMarius: Not yay.

Right, so about that update thing. Since absolutely nothing of interest has occurred in life in the past few days except that I ran the tractor out of diesel, and how exciting is that, I shall simply post excerpts of the ICQ conversation Cam and I had. And you shall fall down in amazement. Or something.

------------------------

...

Me: Also the guys to pump the gas for us, which sure is great, because you don't want to see me try to do it. IT GOES EVERYWHERE.

Cam: Gas ranks on the low end of difficulty you know.

Me: My incompetence with fuel knows no bounds.

Well, ok. I was doing great until I had to rescue the cap to the diesel can. That's when the diesel went everywhere. *sigh*

At least I can change a tire. ph34r my l33t automotive skillz!

Or something.

Cam: *laugh* You know the first time I tried to change a tire I tried to take the axle off? I've never lived that down.

I have much better skills now, but I'm not naturally mechanically inclined.

Me: Um, wow. How did you manage THAT?

Cam: Well, after you unscrew all the regular lug nuts.. there's the center part that can be unscrewed with a power tool... I didn't have it and i was trying to get it off... little did I know that it was the axle I was trying to unscrew.

So yeah, that was embarrassing.

Me: We can establish from this that Dwip n' Cam's Gas and Auto Repair Shop isn't happening any time soon, here.

Cam: *grins* Nope... not unless you want to create a novelty shop like the restaurant where they curse you.

Me: *snicker*

"You LIT MY CAR ON FIRE!?"

"I didn't think that was the gas tank, but..."

Cam: *laugh* Yeah! That would be a FUN job! Maybe almost as fun as working for like Game Informer or PSM or something.

Me: *laugh*

The lawsuits might not be so fun, but I'm all about making cars explode in new and inventive ways.

Cam: Well... the dumbasses would have to sign a waiver saying that no matter what we did to their car, we had no liability as to it's drivability afterwards.

That would give me a chance to do things like put permanent nails in the driver's seat sticking up, or super glue on the drive stick... or maybe lock the brake peddle... and then when they bring it back , you can blow it up.

Me: Heh.

*guy pulls up to the pump* "Fill 'er up."

"Here, sir. Sign this."

"Huh? Ok."

*car explodes*

"YOU BLEW UP MY CAR!"

"Sorry sir. We cannot be held responsible for the loss."

"MY CAR!"

"We're sorry for your loss, sir."

Cam: Now THAT would be a fun job.

Me: Right up until everybody caught on.

Cam: Psh... you gotta bring up the bad parts...

Me: I'm just a killjoy like that.

Cam: You need to look at life more positively like I do.

Me: I tried that. Then I didn't win the lottery anyway, so I was like "What's the point?"

Cam: *snort* You're a funny man.

Me: Well, you know. The whole point is to be all happy, and you get stuff, right?

BUT I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING.

*cries*

*whines*

*writes epic livejournal rants complaining about everything in life*

Cam: Haha... I tried to blog... but I suck at it.

Nobody really gets my sense of humor or my attempts at funnies.

Me: And that is why we have invented our friend, the large stick. Say hello, the large stick.

The Large Stick: Hello.

And if they don't like what you've posted, why, Mr. the large stick will give them a talking to. And he likes doing that, don't you?

The Large Stick: Yup!

Me: And since I apparently need to come up with my own blog material, I think you're about to get quoted.

[EDIT]

Cam: It says something of my good character that the things people remember about me are Lesbian Puking Sheep and Razor Bladed Dildos.. and the Squirrel Alienz of course.

[/EDIT]

Clyos: our chocolate gummie bears pwnzorz all you stand for

Clyos: or sit for

Me: Since I stand for sour gummi bears, no.

Clyos: choclate covered gummie bears r0x0rz j00

Me: Our sour gummi bears do not tolerate such heathenry.

Clyos: at a dollar a pound, they cant' do a damn thing about it

Me: No, they can use the word "heathenry" in a sentence. You lose.

Clyos: Bah, my gummies wield the vorpral blade of cholately goodness

Me: *snicker*

Because, as Whir said, "Chocolate gummie bears? Who's the blasphemer who'd ruin a good gummie bear by covering it in chocolate?"

"I know who I am...and who I may be, if I choose."
---Don Quixote

"Soon we shall rule the universe as father and son...and...er...Thag..."
---MD on CBT.com

We're on a roll today.

--------------------------

Quoth Whir: We need to have an entire website dedicated to Marechal conversations.

--------------------------

Me: Napoleon lost, though.

Besides, he completely subverted the Revolution.

Which isn't to say that the Revolution didn't need subverting, but when the whole goal of the thing is to ESCAPE monarchy, well.

But it's, you know, the French. Can't do anything right.

Marechal: Napoleon abolished the monarchy!

Me: Yeah, you could sort of say he did. Except then he set himself up, which sort of, you know, defeats the purpose.

Marechal: As Emperor.

Me: Because, you know, changing the name makes your dictatorship that much better than other, wannabe dictatorships.

Me: Whir: Ask him how he feels about giant airships, steam-powered muskets, and chivalry.

Marechal: Bah

Me: Bah to the combo of steam powered airships/muskets and chivalry, or were you conceding the point that Napoleon subverted the Revolution in a completely unacceptable manner?

Marechal: None. Napoleon saved the Revolution by ending it.

Me: Granted that the whole Reign of Terror business wasn't exactly a bastion of Goodness, Light, and the Warm Fuzzy Feeling, but, well, you know. Setting yourself up as Emperor is such a good expression of liberty, equality, and fraternity.

*some 10 minutes pass*

Me: I see you are completely unable to respond to my devastating verbal riposte.

Marechal: In order to save the benefits of the Revolution from the clutching arms of the royalists, the monarchists, the RCC, the other European powers, communists, and infidels, Napoleon had to centralize the government in France in the person of himself as Emperor in order to safeguard the nation from the enemies within and without.

Me: So he was a lot like Hitler, then, is what you're saying.

Marechal: Except Hitler was a bad man.

Me: Well, you know. Take away the anti-Semitism and all, and add in a maniacal desire to conquer the world, starting with Russia.

Oh wait.

Marechal: Napoleon was about the only Emperor the Jews ever did well with for the record. Napoleon=hero of the Jews.

And Napoleon didn't have the whole genocide thing going on. He liked to play with little kids. =D

Me: Just like Michael Jackson!

Me: You know, craving cherry-flavored cough syrup is a bit strange.

Whir: Um. You're sick. See a head shrinker.

Me: Well, I don't think it was the cough syrup so much as the artificial cherry flavoring.

Whir: I stand by my original statement.

Me: What's wrong with artificial cherry flavoring?

Whir: You're not right in the head.

Me: So you're a blasphemer against artificial cherry flavoring.

Whir: No, you're a heathen who likes it.

Me: Ok, so what do you get on snow cones then?

Whir: The blue stuff.

Me: WTH is blue?

Whir: Usually raspberry.

Me: Nononono. The true flavors for snow cones are cherry or root beer. Maybe bubble gum, but that's more properly applied to the Baskin Robbin's ice cream flavor.

Whir: Bubble gum? That's horrible. Root beer would be good.

Me: Root beer isn't just good, it's fucking awesome.

Bubble gum, as I said, is better as an ice cream flavor at Baskin Robbin's. Along with, you know, mint chocolate chip, peppermint, and vanilla.

Whir: I don't care what anyone says, vanilla is the One True Flavor.

Me: I'm a big fan, actually. Chocolate people are heretics. In fact, chocolate is one giant heresy.

Whir: Good man.

Me: And I don't care about what every female in the world says about it, either. Unless you've backed up your chocolate with either Cadbury egg filling, caramel, or peanut butter, you are a heretic.

bash.org: i think in the whole sense of the "information superhighway", my isp ended up driving a yugo down some dirt road
Me: "Monroetel lives!"
Clyos: "cept ours is a 80s Trans Am on cinder blocks, it doesn't move"

(Talking about the SATs)

starflier06: On the test, there were these 2 questions
starflier06: One was a "find what's wrong with this sentence"
starflier06: and talked about roots
starflier06: the other was a math problem
starflier06: which dealt with increase in squirrel populations
starflier06: So clearly the squirrel aliens are gaining influence over at ETS.

TontoMarius: Woot.

(and on a totally other note)

starflier06: Still working on the parentals, btw
TontoMarius: *nod*
starflier06: The gist of it is this: were you female, under 20, flamingly gay, or a eunuch, there would be no problem. Since you are, I told them, AFAIK, none of these things, they're still considering.
TontoMarius: *laugh*
starflier06: I thought you'd find that amusing.

Assorted random and mostly out of context conversation between Cole and myself.

Yes, I know I'm an evil bastard.

----------------------

Cole: dude,,.\ i'm plowed to shit, you ba ve bnow idea

Me: Well, if I didn't before, I sure do now. I mean, given the spelling of that thing you just sent me and all.

Cole: yeabh, i heugss

Cole: or guess as the ase mayb e

Cole: *case

Cole: keep in mind i don't have my gleasses on so i can't see the screen

Me: heugss? Look, I've heard of beer goggles, but that's a little extreme.

Cole: the fact of the matter is that i shgould go to bed but i'

Cole: m reall6 easted ah have no idea what i should be doing

Me: Going to bed at this rate sounds like a plan.

Cole: *i'm really wasted and i should go tod ved

Cole: *bed even

Cole: brian had to help me home

Cole: couldn't even see as far as a block

Me: I take it he's a little less drunk.

Cole: ye3ah, way lesss

Cole: sorrry7, but i can barely control my typying

Me: It's ok. Just realize that Whir and I get to make fun of you in the morning. [ED note - does this count?]

Cole: oh, ok,, but i probably won[t be awake any time before 12

Me: We have a pretty broad definition of morning.

Cole: habh

Me: habh?

Cole: wjatever. upi lmpw wjat o ,eam

Cole: *whatver, you know what i mean

Me: You realize I had no idea what the fuck you just said.

Cole: I'M BLI9ZED AND YOU CAN'T HOLD IT AGAINST ME

Me: Considering that the 9 and T keys are on opposite sides of the keyboard? Yes, I can.

Cole: exdatly

Me: I can't even begin to comprehend how you managed to spell that.

Cole: what were we talking about agin? stuf with the thing?

Me: The sociopolitical impact of squirrel aliens on the countries of 17th century Asia.

Cole: dumb it down for the drukn guy

Me: Well, there were these squirrel aliens. And they did stuff. And things.

"...godless infidel damnded red communist liberal heathen pagan heretic Genghis Khan and his bastard horde."

"Well, hopefully legless zombie pigs with knives don't work their way into porn."
---Whir

So I need to post that entry about my epic trip to Portland, but the pictures are elsewhere, so I'll do it later. For the moment, I'll talk about some other things.

Things like this drawing of Suzanne's.

Also, something Regina said:

[17:16] starflier06: They're about mice, rabbits, and small forest animals banding together against evil small forest animals.
[17:16] TontoMarius: Hee.
[17:16] starflier06: They're right up your alley.

Be all that you can be.
---United States Army

"One actually has to be something of a specialist, today, to even begin to grasp quite how fantastically, how baroquely and at once brutally fucked the situation of the United States has since been made to be."
---William Gibson

And my sour gummi bears say unto your plain gummi bears, "we are sour, and we are your superiors. Worship at our feet or be destroyed."
---Whir

You say 'And EVERYBODY likes squirrel aliens.'
Whir says 'Well ya. Who wouldn't like squirrel aliens?'
Samson says 'How can you not like furry little rabid space creatures?'
---Samson, Whir, and myself

"In a morning meeting on Wednesday, Mr. Bremer warned the Iraqi leaders that they risked isolating themselves and their country if they continued to snub the United Nations."
---The New York Times, 3/18/04

What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs
rolls over your neighbor's dog.
what's great for a snack, it fits on your back, it's log log log.
it's log, it's log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
it's log, it's log, it's better than bad, it's good.

Bill: "So-crates. 'The only true wisdom consists of knowing that you know nothing.'"
Ted: "That's US, dude!"
---Bill and Ted

"I'm all about loving thy neighbor. =D But I also believe that shooting lots of people is the best way to save the Republic. You can shoot people with love. All for the greater glory of the Republic, Marius. Got to bear that in mind."
---Marechal

I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geometry, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce, and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study paintings, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain.
---John Adams

"Hanse Davion is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me shoot down CCAF troops in green pastures, he recons the enemy beside quiet waters, he restores the Federated Commonwealth. He guides us with pathfinders for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no Capellan, for the AFFC and his mercenaries are with me; your AC and your Hatchet, they comfort me. You prepare a secure LZ before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my ammo bin overflows. Surely victory and pacification will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Fox forever. Amen."
Now man your DropShips. Next stop: Sian.
---Paul Bowman, rec.games.mecha

Gormican says 'until the end when you realize that thier staves meant to look like the wizard staves are really modified high tech lazy guns'
Samson says 'high tech lazy guns! WOOO!'
Samson says 'Pull the trigger and they wake up 2 hours later :P'
---Gormican and Samson

Fresssh game...
---Assorted argonians, Morrowind

What khajiit do for you?
---Assorted khajiit, Morrowind

All I ask for is a pair of boots. How hard could it be?
---Basks-In-The-Sun

Change is about as alien to me as fun.
---Marechal

You say '"You sorry ass piece of shit! why the hell couldn't you crash an hour ago? Or 2 hours? Or even 5 minutes from now! NO! You had to do it in the middle of a LONG post to my forums that I was 30 seconds away from completing! I'm NOT HAPPY! ( apologies, I needed to vent )"'
Whir snickers softly.
You say 'Sent via the talkback feature'
Whir laughs so hard he falls over dead from lack of air.
Whir says 'Dude, you really should seek help.'
You say 'I did. He wanted money, so I shot him.'
---Samson and Whir

Happier than Cam in a pen of sheep!
---Whir

Samson says 'Just for that, I'm gonna call for an attack on the RIAA!'
Whir says 'You don't need a reason for that.'
Samson says 'I know, that's the beauty of it.'
---Samson and Whir

Whir says 'We Do Dwip Right.'
Whir says 'For that Deep Down Body Dwip.'
Whir says 'All You Need is a Dwip and a Dream.'
Whir says 'Think Once, Think Twice, Think Dwip.'
Whir says 'Snap! Crackle! Dwip!'
Whir says 'There Ain't No Dwip Like A Party Dwip!'
Whir says 'See the USA in Your Dwip.'
Whir says 'Great Dwip. Great Times.'
Whir says 'Grab Life by the Clyos.'
Whir says 'Does the Hard Clyos, So You Don't Have To.'
Whir says 'Let Your Clyos Do The Walking.'
Whir says 'Silly Rabbit, Clyos is for Kids.'
Whir says 'Takes a Clyos but it Keeps on Tickin'.'
Whir says 'Don't Live a Little, Live a Clyos.'
Whir says 'You Can Do It When You Clyos It.
---Whir, in a less lucid moment

"California probably just fell into the ocean, but for some reason, Samson's house is tethered to his DSL line and floating."
---Whir

Common sense says practice makes perfect. Apathy says fuck that shit.
---Whir

yeah... can't wait till 95% of these communist peeps move out of the dorms for a few weeks so the Internet doesn't slow to a crawl.... God damn downloading their stupid rap music and punk crap burned illegal files and all that stuff on KazAa and stuff and all those big problems that have ground internet service here at the university to a standstill
*fires pistol into air*
---Tonto_Marechal

Marechal: "Frederick the Great knew how to fight a war ... you discipline your men, instill them with pride and fear... and then line up and fight like men."
Me: "And get cut down by the machine guns."
Marechal: "But no ... machine guns are immoral."
Me: "How about daisy cutters?"
Marechal: "Those are cool." *drops them on North Korea*
---Tonto_Marechal and myself

"My car does pretty well in rain. In snow or ice it's about as useful as Dwip on a Monday."
---Whir

"What's fun is hiding behind your garage with your wakizashi, and then jumping out at cars screaming at the top of your lungs."
"They of course don't typically find the amusement in it, but I certainly do."
---Whir

"Except [Idaho's] the 3rd world country of states."
---Cole

Marechal: "What brought Napoleon's downfall?"
Me: "Squirrel aliens."
Marechal: "Ha. I just won $5."
Me: "Do tell."
Marechal: "I bet $5 that your response to my serious question would be "squirrel aliens."
---Tonto_Marechal and myself

Can you hear me
that when it starts to rain
it's just a state of a mind
---Rain, The Beatles

"There's this line from the song 'Rocket', 'Bleed in your own light'.
I wanna fuckin' bleed in my own light, not in Kurt Cobain's, not in
Perry Farrell's. I wanna go down in my own fuckin' ship. That's
what I'm about."
---Billy Corgan

Today is the greatest
day I have ever known.
---Today, The Smashing Pumpkins