How To Win Friends and Influence People

~850 BC, Smolensk is founded, finally, on pink dot, leaving just blue dot to be founded. And of course Moscow wasn't being paid enough attention, and goes off and sulks in civil disorder for a while. Argh. Fortunately spearmen from St. P are starting to appear, so I can just impale the revolters.

While I was researching Literature, of course, the rest of the world pulled out tons of tech. And of course I'm poor as dirt trying to pull in Polytheism. Argh. And in 530 BC, Athens goes and completes the Oracle. Hopefully this means he won't be cranking a lot of troops. Speaking of cranking troops, St. P goes on warrior production for later upgrading to swords as soon as I can get an escort over there. About then, Odessa is founded, and Russia looks about like this:

Polytheism comes in, and Monarchy is begin at painful rates. Polytheism is traded around, and every single ancient age tech except the governments, currency, and construction is now mine. Given this kind of tech performance, war with Greece is somewhat reconsidered, but I've got a bit to decide anyway, since the GL is still 20 turns off. Meanwhile, a temple is whipped at poor, pathetic Minsk.

Rather suddenly, I realized that these were the GREEKS I was trying to kill. Hoplites, self, hoplites. War is rather suddenly called off. Just as suddenly, I get a massive barbarian uprising near Odessa message. Yeah, you could say that...

About 5 horses later, my spear goes down hard, and my treasury, which I forgot to empty, goes down even harder. Yeowch. Finally, in 70 BC, after watching Babylon and Egypt split the wonders, I get this:

Just in time, too. Greece is in the Middle Ages. Yech. Fortunately, next turn I net Currency, Republic (wish I could change to it...), Construction, and Monotheism. Yeah. Monarchy takes all the way to 310 AD to get done, and then I can't switch because I'm trying for the Great Lighthouse to get over to the other continent. Argh. My barbarian problem disappears in the same turn, and the people add a nice lawn to the palace.

In 350, Fuedalism and Theology come in from the GL, and yknow, maybe the lighthouse isn't that good... St. P switches to Sistine, and it's about time for the revolt to begin. 4 turn anarchy... And suddenly I'm in Monarchy and my previously-productive cities are emitting gigantic sucking noises. Agh.

450, Engineering comes in from the GL, and Invention is started.

Ruh-roh. In 550, Cleo comes demanding Engineering. Since she wasn't polite enough to ask nicely, I say no. She's annoyed with me, but doesn't declare war. This is good.

570 AD, Invention comes in out of the GL. Chivalry is started.

640 AD, Education comes out of the GL. Doh. So much for that. Chivalry in 20 turns or so, and Russia begins gearing up for war... we need territory, and Alex is handy.

730 AD, Athens takes Sun Tzu's. So much for that idea. Alex has guns, too. A turn later, I lose Sistine to Babylon. Ow. Switch to Leo's in St P, and Moscow burns 170+ shields and switches to a university.

Babylon suddenly has Chivalry, Astronomy, and Gunpowder over me when he didn't a little earlier, and wants a ton of money for my map. Contact with the other continent? Buying his map, apparently not. How'd he get all that tech? Possibly because all the AIs are researching different paths, perhaps? Yes. I really need to bushwhack Alex.

And lo, in 850 I become a dastardly evil bastard, and declare war on Alex. Six odd knights and a few random swords cross the border towards Athens, cutting off Alex's ivory and horses. Of course, being as how the defenders are all muskets and hoplites, I lose all but two of the knights.

The good news of 870 AD is:

Yes, it's weed, as the saying goes, but after sinking all those shields into things, I'll take what I can get. And after my swords throw themselves against Athens, it all looks like this:

Well, Athens WILL be mine. The first knight goes up, and...dies. The defending hoplite goes elite and promotes. The second knight goes up, and...

The knight goes down to the Greek knight the very next turn, but then hordes of my own troops swarm in to defend. The people, grateful as always, donate some trees for the palace. As Greek superknights kill off my defenders in Athens, Abydos defects from the Greeks (when did it defect TO them?):

960 gets a little hairy when Cleo comes back with more demands:

Yes, yes, fine. I can't possibly fight you just now. Instead we'll go for Plan B, which involves me, Delphi, and a whole bunch of my knights. The obvious outcome happens, and it's about time to gear up to take Thermopylae. Or...not.

Well, there goes my entire offensive military. Yeah game, that's fair. Obviously your peasant revolutionary rabble can kill my armored knights on horseback. Bite. Me.