It's a Wonder-ful Life

Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated by the German Borg. Let's hear it for Rome having no culture in his crappy border towns.

Finally, in 1230, our people want to build Wall Street. Good idea, people! There's some thought as to where would be a good place, since Berlin is building Bach's, but since Rome completes Bach's that very turn, maybe it isn't such a dilemma after all.

In 1255, Metallurgy FINALLY happens. Alex wants 270 gold, 22 gpt, and incense for it, and I'll take that.

It also continues to amuse me how Caesar wants to sell his soul for continued iron... This time it's Navigation, 50 gold, and 3 gpt. And the Aztecs still haven't got a harbor, but does this surprise anyone? They did take all those useless Roman border cities, however.

In 1280, the people were suddenly drunk with happiness (or something else):

I think that's going to be the game's record for latest wine hookup. ;)

In 1290, Rome and the Aztecs declare peace on each other. That same turn, Wall Street comes in. I'm broke, of course, but every little bit helps. And FINALLY I can trade with the Aztecs through a road connection... Yay!

So I do:

Mil Tradition is available, too, but we aren't going there quite yet.

And you know, it's funny. I've been holding off selling Chemistry to Hiawatha for eons, simply because he's hella poor. Guess he's got a different opinion of himself.

Well, let's think about this a sec. Bite. Me. And he accepts that, and runs off like the loser he is.

Very suddenlike, in 1320, I get this little message:

As and added bonus, Zimbabwe had the Oracle, too. And lo, Germany was overcome with mass outbreaks of the Warm Fuzzy Feeling. Let's hear it for culture borging! Funny how this is Emperor, too... I haven't had this many flips since I dunno when. Chalk it up to the AIs being at war with each other forever and ever.

As another added bonus, Zimbabwe just so happened to have Furs, which I could then sell to the Aztecs for 40 gold and 11 gpt. Woohoo! And Monty, we note, is RICH...

Democracy comes in in 1350 AD, but I hold off the switch for a bit, since a couple of deals will wear off RSN. They do, and I snatch up Magnetism really quickly from Alex for 190 gold and 36 gpt along with incense. That having been done, we revolt, and draw a 4 turn anarchy! Woot!

During the last bit of this Anarchy, Caesar is willing to offer Mil Tradition and 20 gold for iron. Being as how I like Caesar (and Mil Tradition), I take it.

In 1375, I come out of anarchy, and the people celebrate by adding even more to the palace. And suddenly I am, as they say, richer than God, and pulling in more income than Him, too. This, of course, calls for Eternal Christmas in the Infrastructure Ministry, though the Science Ministry got a tad antsy when Theory of Gravity went around and everyone hit Industrial. But we're the Germans. We can solve this sort of problem.

In 1385, my last warrior is disbanded in Berlin. Which begs talking about my military situation this entire game, which was essentially guys with bronze spears sitting around making cardboard cutouts to make myself look fearsome, and guys with stone axes keeping the peace. It wasn't until shortly after the saltpeter hooked up that muskets started appearing, and there's still one last spear in the middle of nowhere.

The whole no ToG problem is solved in 1395 when I give Monty Wines and a spare 720 gold I had under the couch for it. That, of course, netted Nationalism. Greece wasn't about to sell that sort of thing to Monty, of course, but squeamish I am not: I get my money back plus Free Artistry and some spare iron. This spare cash goes into a few rifle upgrades, and it's suddenly back to the Eternal Christmas for the infrastructure folks.

In 1425, I suddenly realize I forgot all about embassies... Thusly established, everyone else's capitol is pathetic. Berlin is at least twice as good as any one of them, and I've got other cities vastly better as well.

1460, I lose Newton's by a whole 5 turns. And nothing to switch to. Newton jumps on a horse, grabs a rifle, and I begin gearing up for Plan B. The Aztecs, we note, have Vast Tracts of Land, and it's got some Good Stuff on it. Me want. About then I turn research back on, too, since I can now net Steam Power in 8 turns with a +70 gpt surplus. I'll take it. Considering I'm about out of infrastructure to buy anyway, it's no big deal.

1475, Rome and the Iroquois declare peace on each other after who knows how much war. The two of them are definitely the second rate powers of this game - Rome's BARELY in the Industrial Age, and Hiawatha is more like 4 or 5 techs behind, and Rome's eaten half his land to top it off. Fresh from that little entertainment, Caesar decides that I need to pay him tribute. Which I actually do. He's chosen Unwisely, but it's not quite time yet.

Steam Power comes in 1495, 2 turns after Greece gets it, and I get a seldom-seen message:

Wow, what's this been, anyway? 10+ games without one? As it turns out, the Iron Works city is Intombe, which is about as ass end of nowhere as you can get in Germany without being Viroconium. Nonetheless, it's the IRON WORKS. <hammering noises> Oh, and I can build those railroad things, too. A few more workers are cranked to go do that sort of thing. Plan B is, incidentally, halted in favor of waiting for Panzers. Because Panzers are our friends.

1530, Industrialization comes in 4 turns after Alex gets it, and off we go with factories. Medicine is started, in the hopes of pulling ToE/Hoover. Trading dies off about here, since everyone is too bloody poor to buy anything, except Greece.

My FP finally comes in 1580 in Zimbabwe. Perhaps not the best location, but it worked, especially if all those former Zulu cities flipped, which they haven't yet, but one can hope. In any case, it cuts down the corruption in the former Zulu core a LOT, which really helps. And The Corporation and Espionage apparently came in while I wasn't looking, which means Monty gets 350 gold, wine, and saltpeter in exchange for the Corporation. The next turn, 1590, I pull in Electricity, and it's 5 turns to Sci Method and ToE. Scant turns later, the Iron Works completes in Intombe, and a factory is quickly begun. Said factory is rushed quickly, and Sci Method comes in the next turn.

My regularly scheduled industrial era funness was interrupted to bring me the following message:

Not just any war, this. These two are the main superpowers besides myself. The main researchers. Them fighting puts me firmly in the driver's seat. Woohoo!

1650, Scientific Method proves itself the most valuable commodity in the universe, when Greece pays Refining, Espionage, 44 gold, and 15 gpt for it. 2 turns later, Replaceable Parts comes in, and I suddenly notice I haven't got any oil. This won't do at all. Fortunately, I have a Plan.

And in 1665 it's all good anyway, when I get the ToE:

For techs, we go for...wait a sec...

Score! Hoover Dam begins in Intombe with 9 turns to completion, and I sit back to enjoy the increased $$$ part of my Golden Age.

Oh yeah, then there's this:

So much for the whole placeholder idea, eh?

In 1675, the Iroquois got an MPP with Greece and declared on Monty. Good one, Hiawatha. Some tech trading is done, and I'm now REALLY rich, Greece has Atomic Theory for what good it'll do em, and Monty has Steel.

1705, Hoover Dam surprisingly came in:

In 1715, Monty wants an Embargo vs the Iroquois. I tell him no, but offer 250 gold and wines for Sanitation. He's all for that, and I'm all for hospitals.

1745, the war widens, with Rome jumping in on the anti-Aztec side. World crusade against Monty!

1756 saw the end of the German Golden Age. Not that much changed, since the world was busy killing itself, and I was busy raking in the techs. Emperor. 4 turn science. Gome.

In 1770, my entire country builds airports essentially because they can and I have nothing better to do. I'd love to take down the Aztecs or somebody, but I haven't got any oil, and nobody's going to trade me any. And I'm not sure if I REALLY want to play the infantry/arty game.

And upon further looking, Monty has the ONLY OIL IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. <boggle> On the other hand, it's essentially trivial for me to cut off every resource he has except for the coal and iron. To do this is going to require some serious troops, though. These are the Aztecs, after all - the same bunch that is currently taking on the entire world coalition and doing good.

Nevertheless, this is probably my best shot for a conquest victory. So we'll do it. Infantry starts cranking every 2 turns throughout Germany.

1772, Motorized Transportation comes in, we go up an age, and Rocketry comes in. Computers research starts.

1786, Rome and the Aztecs declare peace, though the Aztecs continue to move troops through Roman territory to attack Greece and the Iroquois.

1792, Computers comes in, and Ecology is started so as to get to Modern Armor.

1796, the last of the 40 artillery needed for the invasion comes in, and there's a slight pause to have the entire country build research labs.

1804, our luxury deals with the Aztecs run out except for a Furs deal that has 10 more turns to go. We're about as ready as it's going to get, seemingly. Dial up the GIA in Konigsburg, plant a spy in Tenochtitlan. He's caught, and Monty is highly unimpressed:

(Yes, I realize I'm an evil, dastardly bastard in multiple ways for doing this. It didn't appear to be an exploit despite the trade deal, however, and the game's rather tiring by this point, so I did it anyway.)