| Epic 31: Potluck Brunch |
| Being the report for the Realms Beyond Civilization Epic 31, the rules
for which can be found here.
Epic 31 will make the, what, third potluck Epic I've participated in. I've hit every one of these things other than Epic 8. What it is about them that keeps bringing me back, I have no idea, but here I am. Incidentally, I'm player one this time around. I was player three in both Epics 18 and 21. Maybe I'll write a book someday entitled "The Benefits of Obsessively Forum Surfing At All Hours" And another OT rant: Civ. Other games. LEAVE MY MONITOR REFRESH RATE ALONE. Thank you. |
| Who're THESE Guys? |
| And lo, it was 4000 BC, and I was RBCiv-31 of the Romans, who were a
nice red color, and...wait a sec. The Romans? The ROMANS? I haven't been
the Romans since, like, the tutorial. I haven't played the Romans in
like three years, since Call to Power. It's gone from "obsessively
play Rome ALL the time because you're a history major who wants to
specialize in Rome and, hey, you use Marius as an online name" to
"Militaristic and Commercial? But I'm a builder!" Well, here
we are. And unlike some other Caesars, I know how to build temples.
Anyway. It's 4000 BC, we're redder than a Communist Party meeting, stuck with the rantingest leader anybody's ever seen, and there's a goody hut next to the starting spot.
We have water access, hills, and cows. We sigh, noting that since we can walk outside these days and stare down our neighbors' cows roaming our property, walking outside our computerized village and staring down pixelated cows is about normal. Rome, fueled by hot air, is founded on the starting spot. A bunch of Etruscans pop out of the hut and decide that being Romans would be nicer, because really. Who wants to wear white and follow erratic AI patterns, anyway? Pottery is declared absolutely essential to the survival of the Roman nation. "Say, Fearless Leader. Boss. Sure could be using some fresh water around here. The stuff we've got tastes a bit, yknow, salty." Oh dear. "Well, uh, build some mines, then." "Uh, Boss? What's there worth mining in lush grasslands?" Good question. "Shut up, Flunkius. Go dig." Time passes. Warriors do some scouting. We're apparently in the Garden of Eden, even if there is no fresh water and some of it's a bit...icy. Furs and ivory are in evidence? What does this mean, given the luck of everyone's favorite Fearless Leader[1]? No resources. It's always no resources. Mark my words. [1] - You, in the back there. Yes, you. I saw that. We're coming for you. Oooh. Looks like somebody had Fun With Terrain Editing.
And, oh, look, it's 3450 and there's Alex's hoplite. Hi Alex!
Alex, of course, isn't down with trading me bronze working. Oh well. And look at the nice mountain there on the one-tile isthmus. Look at the nice warrior. Guess where this ends up. Pottery comes in, and we start on Ceremonial Burial. The, uh, settler prebuild in Rome is switched to a granary. Granary comes in 2800 BC, and we start 5 turning it to settlers. And the next turn, Ceremonial Burial comes in, and we start 40 turning it to Writing, since our science really sucks. And lo, in 2590, we build...a SETTLER. Watch out, world! They're breeding! And the world, after dotmapping, appeared thusly:
"Er, Boss? That wasn't one of your cleanest dotmaps ever." "Did I tell you to stop digging?" The plan, such is it is, is this. Blue and Green dots are critical to block Greek expansionism. Then come Pink and Yellow dots, and we work on down the island. It's not the closest dotmap that I could've done, but it should work. |
