|
The Years of Expansion |
| The year 1350 BC saw the founding of Warwick in the middle
reaches of the Coventry River. Further colonists were dispatched
from London to the mouth of the Coventry, passing Visigoth envoys who
came to offer tribute in the form of an advanced government: The
Republic. The Blessed King William, not feeling the need for
representative government just then, thanked them politely, then
proceeded to forget the idea. By 1200 BC, England was growing by leaps and bounds. Newcastle was founded to the north of London, and Oxford was founded at the mouth of the Coventry River soon after. On the diplomatic front, Caesar of the Romans was persuaded to give up his maps of the world for a small amount of gold, and a minor emergency was declared when the Blessed King William was unable to stop laughing and almost died[1]. Soon after, techniques for riding horses were developed, although they would be of limited use since there appeared to be a complete lack of the beasts near England. It was generally agreed that England had entered a grand new age in her development. In 1175, Iroquois warriors were spotted near Oxford. Their leader was a half-naked savage named Hiawatha, and they appeared to have an unhealthy preference for the color purple. Despite being a savage, however, this Hiawatha ruled over the most advanced, richest civilization yet contacted by the English. For the gift of Polytheism to his backwards culture, Hiawatha offered his maps and the entire contents of his treasury, 100 sacks of gold. These maps revealed a middling civilization, far less than the might of the English, but in what appeared to be a fertile spot. What's more, these Iroquois had an abundance of horses, though they appeared to not understand their uses. Iroquois Lands, 1175 BC:
By 1050, Leeds, Liverpool, and Brighton had been founded,
and expansion continued at a rapid pace. The people of Leeds were
saved from a vicious sacking by nearby barbarians when a lowly Aztec
jaguar warrior intercepted the barbarians and turned them back. The
Blessed William ordered that a note of thanks be sent to Montezuma for
this deed. Japanese Lands, 900 BC:
In 570, progress on great Pyramids in London was disrupted
when word came of a similar project being completed in Paris. The
Blessed William swore, then ordered the project be changed to the Chichen
Itza, instead. Meanwhile, great road building and settling projects
occupied the English, as well as the building of large temples to the
Voice. These projects continued for hundreds of years, during which
almost nothing of note happened, except the foundation of a number of
cities and the completion of many temples[3].
Finally, in 310 BC, the Chichen Itza was completed in London. Converted
from the half-finished Pyramids, the Chichen Itza was a great temple to
the Voice, which blessed the new temple by handing down a new code of laws
to the Blessed William, who ordered great pillars erected across the
length and breadth of England with these new laws carved into them[4]. |
| [1] - The Mighty Roman Empire:
<snicker>
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